Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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heres a funny joke your momas so fat............

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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why was tommy so sad?............because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Santa isn't real

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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96

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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