what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

Knock knock Get off my porch.

Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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