Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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why did the moose cross the road? to eat the baby.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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Republicans

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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