What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops