Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

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2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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