two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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2 women were sitting quietly

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

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Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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