why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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