- Anti Joke

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

milly, milly, milly, cat

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

Womens rights.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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