How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

Deadly cancer.

What color was the duck? It had one foot.

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

Women's rights

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

What do you call a cow climbing a tree? Amazing. How many cows have you seen climbing trees?

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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