What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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