Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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WUT SMELLS ? my poo

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? women dont poop, especially not halle berry

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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An asian without a future.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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