How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Pinus Testicles

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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