your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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