What's older than history? Pre-history.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -60

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops