Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

2 women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops