Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops