I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

A woman's opinion

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

what do you call a cow? A cow

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

What did the cat say to another ? meow

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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