Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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