What's the square root of four? Two.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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