What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

Nock Nock It's open.

What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

What's funnier than 24? 25

why was 7 afraid of 8, cause 8,9,10

whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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