When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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Shit!

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Lil' Wayne

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

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So did you hear what happened to the deaf guy? He didn't either

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops