What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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A

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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you thought i was going to write a joke.. bitch

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops