What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops