How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...