Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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That didn't hurt.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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