Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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girls lacrosse

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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your father died

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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