What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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A walrus walks into a bar

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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pickle juice?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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take out the f in way. there is no f in way. I see what you did there.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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