A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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mc hammers income.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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