What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

I like my women like I like my coffee, I don't like coffee.

What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

Wow, that was a long opinion for someone that does supposedly not watch Hentai, hey, if you like hentai thats cool, I was about your age when I got really tired of watching sex drawn or not and just you know, went for it real life as they say nowadays. I just happen to like your eyes, I mean you do not like them, but avoid mirrors and I will be the one looking at them. Chobits, yeah, I watched that a looong time ago, then deathnote, and then nothing because I got too old for that stuff, Oh wait, gungrave, that I also watched.

this is gay

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

up your butt with a cocunut up butt cocunut

Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

Blind people can't read this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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