What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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You

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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since when?

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You should never talk to strangers.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Who was the first person Steven Hawking runs up to when he finds out something new about science? He is in a wheelchair due to a condition called ASL, therefore he cannot "run"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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