When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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YOUR MOM JOKES ARE SO OLD because the last time i herd a ur mom joke i fell off my dinosaur...

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

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What is the science of classifying living things? Racism...

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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