A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between peanut butter and jelly ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

thumb_up thumb_down +4

conrad profit

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How did Whitney Houston die? A: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops