I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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9/11/2001

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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