- Anti Joke

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

Compton

Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

An iguana walks out of a bar

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

weiner? balls

Anti Joke

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MOAR??