Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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42

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Blarg

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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