guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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