The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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Women's Basketball.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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look left now look right. washing machine

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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KEVIN HART

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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