Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Women's rights.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Icecream

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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No.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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i wish i was a tree !

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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