How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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