There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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