What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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