how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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