Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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