Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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