What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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