A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Cripples are lame.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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69

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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