The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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