Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

Dick Cheney That's the joke

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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