im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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