Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

Cripples are lame.

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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