pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Donald Trump

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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