Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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