A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Potassium? K.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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