a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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