Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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