Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Don't believe in Atheists.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -22

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -42

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops