What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Your big dick.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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Anti-Joke Chicken

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