“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

thumb_up thumb_down +11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops